What does it take to make an octopus laugh?

For all his hard work he is allowed to ask God one question. He asks, “Will fusion power ever be economically feasible?” God says, “Yes, but not in my lifetime.”

They have an open door policy.

Ocelots, because every time they hit a high stakes table, they seem to have ocelot of money.

One of the pigs fell out and a guy drove by and saw him. He picked it up and put it in his car and hurried to catch up to the truck. On the way he drove past a state trooper. He was speeding so the trooper pulled him over. He said "why are you going so fast?" The guy explained he was trying to catch up to the pig truck. The trooper said "oh yeah I saw that truck. It's too far ahead for you to safely catch up. So what I want you to do is take that pig to the zoo" the guy agreed and left. The next day the trooper is there in his spot and he sees the guy drive by with the pig in his car so he pulls him over again and says "hey didn't I tell you to take that pig to the zoo yesterday?" And the guy said "yeah, and I did, but we had such a good time at the zoo I thought we'd go to the beach today"

And let me tell you, that joint was popping! Oh wait, I mean my joints were popping.

I told her she should know what 3 inches looks like by now.

In it's sleevees!

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two

Don't worry, you still have a month to continue using your FAKE ID.

Just use your T-shirt!