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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 11 day.ago

Death of an icon

With great sadness I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, who has one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Betty Crocker delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He wasn’t considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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1. Why are chickens rich?

Because they know how to make a buc. Buc buc.

2. My friend was waiting for a bus when he saw a policeman drop a box of donuts, then split his pants while bending over to pick it up.

This was so hilarious that he just couldn't help himself and he started hooting and chuckling uncontrollably. The officer was not pleased and arrested him on the spot. The charge: Involuntary man's laughter.

3. Why can't you ask traditionalists for four quarters instead of a dollar bill?

Because they don't like change!

4. Why was it called the Dark Ages?

Because of all the knights.

5. Step Dad told me he likes to watch chickens walk around.

He's says its like "Poultry in Motion."

6. What's the difference between a standard dozen, a baker's dozen, and a Doordash dozen?

A standard dozen is 12 A baker's dozen is 13 A Doordash dozen is 6

7. Why couldn't the game dev perform in bed?

Because he worked at ubisoft

8. Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house

Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

9. If you take huge risks to acquire ornate anklets and garters...

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10. My cat won't go to the bathroom unless she has new books to read.

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