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avatar MarriedSilverMr 12 day.ago

Why did my semen cross the road?

Because I f#cked a chicken.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My cat won't go to the bathroom unless she has new books to read.

She needs fresh kitty literature.

2. How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

3. A young girl came home from college and mentioned that she was thinking about having a baby.

Assuming her daughter may already be pregnant, her mother was furious. "What the hell? How'd you get knocked up like this? Who's the father?" "Mom, you've got it all wrong," her daughter replied, "It's a class project about the miracle of life." Her mother didn't believe her. "You'd better tell me who that baby's father is right now!" Tearfully, she said, "I don't know, mom! It was a group effort!"

4. A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to slip the dying worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from Grandma.

5. R.I.P. Boiling Water

You will be mist.

6. Why is it so hard to accelerate when running at your top speed?

Because running at that speed hertz.

7. I took the r out of Sprite

Just for spite!

8. I paid NASA $500 for an industrious little insect who just got back from a space mission.

That's ex orbit ant.

9. What do you call influencers who attract friendless sad people?

Lonelyfans influencers.

10. "Have you got any experience in computer-aided design?" asked the job interview.

"Yes," I replied. "Once I didn't sleep for four days because I was so preoccupied with how to decorate the interior of our living room. In my hysteria, I concluded that we'd need to spend £150,000 to fulfil my vision." "Okay...that's wonderful...But how does that bear *any* relation to computer-aided design?" "My wife bashed me over the head with a keyboard and made me see sense." **edit: interview*****er*** **(d'oh)**

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