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avatar fuddyoldfart 18 day.ago

Why shouldn't nuns chew their fingernails?

It's a bad habit.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A wealthy lady hired a band

a caterer and a clown for her granddaughter’s birthday party. Shortly before the party was due to start, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for them, the lady promised them a free meal if they would chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they went to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, the party got under way, and all of the children were having a wonderful time. The only problem was that the clown hadn’t arrived, and soon he phoned to say that he was stuck in traffic and wouldn’t be able to get there in time. Disappointed, the lady tried valiantly to entertain the children herself but she was a poor substitute. Just then she happened to look out of the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the back lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and jumped high in the air. So she went outside and said to the other bum: “What your friend is doing is absolutely marvellous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think he would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $75.” “I don’t know,” said the bum. “Let me ask him. Hey, Willie! For $75, would you chop off another toe?”

2. While out boating my son told me he felt like he was constantly being watched by the ocean.

I said eye sea.

3. I know you probably heard about alphabet soup as a kid

Well as an adult have you heard of times new ramen?

4. I told my brother i was gonna make a belt out of watches...

He told me that's a waist of time

5. I tomade up a joke about pizza and a broken pencil

Unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless.

6. Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil?

She finally found Mr. Write.

7. I was asked to donate to help support the disabled.

I gave them a pair of crutches.

8. My dad always said to me “Son, whatever you do, make a big impact in life.”

Great dad, shit parachutist.

9. I've shortened the rope on the bucket they use to collect water in the local village..

Didn't go down well.

10. My daughter said she will not follow her dreams

She said they were scary. PS: My 6 year old daughter said that yesterday. I ROFLd.

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