a caterer and a clown for her granddaughter’s birthday party. Shortly before the party was due to start, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for them, the lady promised them a free meal if they would chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they went to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, the party got under way, and all of the children were having a wonderful time. The only problem was that the clown hadn’t arrived, and soon he phoned to say that he was stuck in traffic and wouldn’t be able to get there in time. Disappointed, the lady tried valiantly to entertain the children herself but she was a poor substitute. Just then she happened to look out of the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the back lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and jumped high in the air. So she went outside and said to the other bum: “What your friend is doing is absolutely marvellous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think he would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $75.” “I don’t know,” said the bum. “Let me ask him. Hey, Willie! For $75, would you chop off another toe?”
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The student replied, "Write an essay in 1000 words." The teacher asked, "Then why did you just draw a painting?" The student answered, "Because a painting is worth a thousand words."
says WHO.
But he is never gonna give you "Up"
They both love Cheeses. (Credit: Instagram— @chrissyfresca)
Tuna half minutes.
M8 (mate)
Things were going well and while they were eating, Mike said, “After dinner we can look at some of Lisa’s baby videos.” Lisa blushed and said, “Aw dad, don’t do that…”, but he insisted. In the living room, Mike started playing a video and Dan was shocked to see that it was taken in the hospital delivery room. Dan, Lisa, and Sally sat in stunned silence while Mike gave a play-by-play of Lisa’s delivery. After the ordeal, as Dan and Lisa were getting ready to leave, Sally walked over and quietly said, “I’m so sorry for this — I didn’t know that Mike was going to do that.” Dan was starting to mumble a “that’s all right” when Sally continued, “… and I’m so relieved that he didn’t bring out the conception video.”
It was a *male*strom!
I told him i got twix up my sleeve
Uncertainty
more jokes Here waiting for you
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