Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Healthy_Ladder_6198 1 day.agoSmokey the BearSmokey the Bear was relaxing in his new house. He’d just moved to the neighborhood and was enjoying retirement after years of working for the US Forest Service and was sitting in his favorite easy chair, reading a particularly engaging book, when the doorbell rang. Smokey sighed, set the book face down (his sister was always so mad at him for doing this as it ruined the spine, but seeing as this was essentially the latest in a series of airport bestsellers, he didn't feel like he was damaging anything particularly worth saving though he had to admit it was pretty compelling, if a bit tawdry) and got up to answer the door. When he opened it, there was a ram standing there, with a stack of fliers in his arms. "Hello sir or madam would you like a- OH! It's you – Smokey! I love your work!" "That's quite alright, thank you," Smokey said. "Now what can I do for you, young man?" "Oh gosh, I'm so flustered," said the ram. "I never expected to see a celebrity on my first day!" "First day of..." said Smokey. "Oh! Sorry, yes!" the ram stammered. "My sister and I just opened a new flower shop down the street and I was just handing out these brochures and it would just mean the world to us both if you would take one!" Smokey looked down at the coupon in the ram's hand, then back up to his face. "Sorry, kid. I'm not going to take this." The poor ram was shocked. "You're not?" “Now, if your sister was here, I'd accept it from her, but not from you." “But – but– I don't understand! Why my sister?" stammered the ram. Smokey got very serious and looked the ram dead in the eye. "Only ewes can present florist fliers."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Neighbor
“It’s not stealing if no one wants it”
He just can’t hold it
Rape.
By putting flowers on his grave.
He didn't want to miss the midnight premier of Planet of the Apes.
I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
How am I supposed to know, after 6 minutes I'm done jacking off and have lost all interest.
A Sandy Hook.
Trick question, feminists can't change anything
Because they bring out the kid in you.
A turkey
Usually all the best ones are taken, so when no ones looking, stick it in the disabled one.
Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer.
My cock.
Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, it was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage I thought, " Hang on a fucking minute"
See-Four
Get pulled over, the cop tells them " I'm sorry to bother you but we're looking for two child molesters" the priests look at each other, talk for a minute and say " ok we'll do it"
He was caught drinking on the job!
Because they have to.
Nobody should ever be subjected to country music.
Afterwards the doctor comes in and tells them, "I have good news and bad news." Concerned, they ask for the bad news first. He tells them that the baby is a ginger. The parents say, "Well I guess we can learn to live with a ginger baby. It might not be so bad. What's the good news?" "It's dead!"
He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
Then itll never come for me
So blind people could hate them too
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog...
Break her fingers, so she can't tell anyone
His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.
Because he can't do stand up
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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