Texting jokes can be hard to understand.

Without a voice it had no dial tone...

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Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. When using the metric system, don't forget the term used for the middlemost measurement.

The center-meter.

2. #1 Starbucs, #2 McDonalds

That is what I see every time I use the bathroom

3. In an awkward moment my dad told me, that having sex with my mother was much like eating her cooking

If you don’t clean your plate, you’re not allowed to leave the room

4. Why did the Star Trek start get arrested for sexual misconduct?

Because William Shat-n-er

5. I gorged on 14 cans of alphabet soup a few days ago

Ended up having a crippling vowel movement. Then, was constipated with the consonants. At the doctor's office. No word yet.

6. Are you a glass half full or glass half empty kind of person?

I work at a chip bagging company. I'd say it's completely full.

7. What medicine do androids take when they are sick?

Robo-tussin

8. It’d be a big mistake to start flirting with nuns.

Trust me, you don’t wanna get into that habit.

9. Why did the influencer throw away her air conditioner?

She had so many fans that she didn’t need it.

10. Just saw a rare footage from WWE of Steve Austin struggling to cut a decent promo on the mic.

It was a Stone Cold Stutter.

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Texting jokes can be hard to understand.

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funny dad jokes