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avatar Itamarep 18 day.ago

#1 Starbucs, #2 McDonalds

That is what I see every time I use the bathroom

dadjoke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I received an interesting telegram telling me what is used to slow down a plane landing on a carrier

It is an arresting cable

2. Did you hear that Julie Andrews recently ended her sponsorship agreement with Super Color brand Lipstick because they lowered their quality?

The most common online reviews say the new formula makes the lipstick crumble easily and for some reason gives people bad breath. When asked why she didn’t stick with the company, Andrews said, “Well... Super Color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”

3. What's hilarious and sounds like a cellphone?

A self-own.

4. Two Uranium atoms were on a street corner.

One asked the another, "Why do you look so tired?" The other replied "idk".

5. What kind of shorts do racecar drivers wear?

Cargo shorts

6. Two hookers were on a street corner.

They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, no. I just burped.

7. I was thinking of opening a lingerie store, but in this economy…

risqué business.

8. I don’t snore

I just dream loudly.

9. A Dog Story

Shortly after our 10 year old Cocker Spanial died, I brought a 2 year old Golden Retriever rescue pup home. Both my wife and I had grown up with large dogs so we thought a larger dog might stand a better chance with our growing family of 3 boys, (soon to be 4 boys). When our 2 older sons and I arrived home with the 140 pound pup, my wife met us with an OMG look of surprise. She was expecting a lot smaller dog. I tried to calm her by telling her that the lady who was rehoming him said that he liked children. She replied to my comment with "By the size of him, he must like to have 2 chikdren a day!" He was the best dog ever. He really did like kids!

10. To get into shape you need to take any opportunity for exercise.

So now when I microwave something for ninety seconds, I press 1:30.

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