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avatar mrbadassmotherfucker 19 day.ago

My son came to me the other day and said he was sad because he was fucking ugly

I told him to dump her and get a hotter one

nsfw

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funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I pay a guy $30 to each week to clean up the poop in my backyard. He just quit without giving me any notice.

Pretty sure he found out I don't have any pets.

2. Why did six marry seven?

Because seven eights ass

3. It’s not a big surprise that the latest Tesla product has problems.

It turns out that “cyber truck” is South African for “Ford Pinto”.

4. It’s not a big surprise that the latest Tesla product has problems.

It turns out that “cyber truck” is South African for “Ford Pinto”.

5. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi were walking down the street. The priest and the nun walked into a bar.

The rabbi ducked.

6. a Colorado Rockies player walks into a bar

of coors he ordered a coors edit bonus joke: why did the man get pulled over? coors he was drunk

7. Invested 0.5 Million in the business 3 months ago and got a return of 3 Million today

Anything is possible if you are lying

8. Why are dictators such good electricians

Because they are in charge

9. Swiss Cheese was recently declared the official cheese of the Catholic Church.

It’s the holiest of cheeses.

10. I Looked down and saw $80 on the sidewalk. Being the good Christian that I am, I thought, what would Jesus do?

So I went to the liquor store and turned it into wine

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