Waitsfornoone 6 day.agoA wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified ...A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator." Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?' And so, here we are!"
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Her mom follows her into the basement and doesn’t see the body. “April fools!” The little girl exclaims, “he did it in the garage!”
For example, when you shove them down the stairs.
If you missed the showing in Seattle, don't worry, you can still catch it in Atlanta, Minneapolis, NY, Portland, and More TBD.
It was then that dave found out that his wife who had Alzheimer's had progressed so badly that she forgot her husband
"Me-Don't Worry, It'll End Soon." "Me-Ok, Ok, That's The Last One fr." Next Week- Everyone, Crying, In The Graveyard.
Go stand in front of a mirror
An adoption agency
On an unrelated note, Charlie Daniels wasn’t that good at the violin.
An earthquake.
A couple named Lola and Arnie go to fertility clinic for help conceiving. doctor takes Lola's height and weight and says you're 6 ft 1, 295 lb. You're big enough to play with Green Bay's Packers. Lola says I'd never do that! I don't play with anybody's packer but Arnie's!
baby shoes, never worn
A baby with a spear through its head.
Never fired, dropped only once.
It was Made In China.
Raising Canes
9 months.
Nobody cries when they chop up a hooker.
They actually became a firework.
Upon her arrival she immediately met with God. "Teresa, my child", God started. "You have done countless wonderful things for the world in your lifetime. Please accept this halo." With that, a golden halo appeared above Mother Teresa's head. Some time later, Mother Teresa saw Princess Diana, with a bigger halo over her head. Upset, she asked to meet with God, who agreed. "God, I saw Princess Diana today," said Mother Teresa. "I noticed that her halo was bigger than mine. I know that envy is a sin and I don't mean to question you, but why?" God said "You don't understand. That's not a halo. That's the steering wheel."
Inspector johnson
She cooks
Because your dick keeps getting in the way.
Dawson: Both. I rolled in the hay with my meemaw. Fortunately she was still young enough to give birth to you.
I need something really fucking mean for my family. I don’t care what it is but I need suggestions
..... I call them niggers. After all, they are actually black, unlike Africans who are technically brown. Gnat lives don’t matter. I’m prejudiced against mosquitoes.
If you were forced to have it when you were young, chances are that you probably won’t like it when your older.
the death of a gorilla causing nationwide backlash
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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