jokeKing logo
avatar orgasmic2021 1 mon.ago

The Manhattan Hooker

A guy is hanging out in his favourite, bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly man. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a hooker. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night, he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a hooker?" "Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?" "Well, I dunno. What do you charge?" "I get $100 just for a handjob. We can negotiate from there." "$100!! For a handjob? Are you nuts?" "You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on handjobs. "Trust me, it's worth it." The guy mulls it over for a while and decides what the hell. He leaves with her and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had. This hand job was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life. The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her. "Last night was incredible!" "Of course it was. Just wait till you try one of my blow jobs." "How much is that?" "$500" "$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!" "You see that apartment building across the street?" The guy looks out front at a 12 storey apartment building. "I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blowjobs. Trust me, it's worth it." Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her and once again, is not disappointed. He nearly faints - twice! The next night, he can hardly contain himself until she shows up. "I'm totally hooked on you.... you are the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?" She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan. "You see that island?" "Awwww c'mon..... You can't mean that!" She nods her head.. "You bet..... if I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan!"

373
11
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Used boat for sale..

Leaky but whole..

2. PSA: If you’re ever assaulted by a knight or a bishop, you need to get to a hospital immediately.

Chess pains are a medical emergency.

3. My mom told me, to never ride my bike near the mental health hospital.

She said that there are dangerous cycle paths there.

4. Why do teenagers like Easter?

Because Christ is rizzin’

5. While on vacation in Israel...

While on vacation in Israel, an American wife asks her husband, "If, I die here and it costs $30,000 to fly me home and bury me, or $2,000 dollars to bury me here, what would you do?" To which the husband replies, "Well, I'd fly you home and bury you there." "Why would you spend the extra money," she gasps. "Well, because the only person I know that died in Israel, rose again 3 days later." >!Happy Good Friday & Easter yall!!<

6. I went to McDonald's today. I smiled at the bloke and said "Can I have a small shake please?"

He told me to "Fuck off" and walked out of the men's toilets.

7. Two Vampires

Two vampires walk into a bar. One orders a Bloody Mary, the other just water. The first vampire asks, "Hey Steve, how come you're not drinking tonight?" Steve sighs, "I just got back from the doctor & he says I need colon surgery. Now I gotta fly back to Shitsylvania."

8. What the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

9. The dentist was attending a party.

As the host was introducing him to some guests one of them came up close and says, "I'm glad to meet you doctor. I've been having a problem with this tooth and need advice" while waggling a loose tooth close to the dentist's face. The host quickly leads the guest away making an excuse for the dentist. Later, he comes back apologising profusely for his I'll mannered guest. "That's alright," the dentist replies, "but sometimes I thank God I'm not a proctologist."

10. Expect an increase in violence across Liverpool this weekend...

...as Scousers tell people they're going to have an Easter Egg Hunt this weekend.

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆