…one day they have the following conversation: Bob says, “I was just wondering if there is baseball in Heaven.” John replies, “I sure hope they do because it would be hell not being able to play it for all eternity!” “I know right! Tell you what, if one of us dies before the other, then we need to somehow let the other one know if there is.” “Sounds like a plan!” Bob dies a few years later in a car crash & a couple of days after that John has a dream where Bob visits him and tells him, “I have good news & bad news. The good news is that they DO play baseball in Heaven and, man, they have some of the best games! All the legends play, Ruth, Robinson, Gehrig, everybody in the Hall of Fame plays but your skill level doesn’t matter because who cares if we win or lose, we’re just playing a game that we love!” John says, “That sounds awesome! But what’s the bad news?” “You’re scheduled to pitch next week.”
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So I bought a halfster.
A hootenanny!
Because they only know one way or an udder.
a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
There's some shit that you just can't control
I always wondered why she exited my car through the sunroof.
Savant Garde
They share their prophets.
You can tell they're both torn apart
They are calling it Apollo G.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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