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avatar VordovKolnir 1 day.ago

I had $20 after buying my new gun. The Holster was going to cost $40

So I bought a halfster.

dadjoke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a lion whose car brakes down 10 km before he reached the zoo?

A taxi.

2. A man found a lamp on the beach, rubbed it and out popped a genie!

As you might expect, the genie said, "Thank you for releasing me -- I grant you three wishes!" Without hesitation the man said, "For my first wish, I want you to get a hearing aid." The genie was perplexed and said, "That's an odd wish. May I ask why that?" "Well, I've heard horror stories about wishes before and I really don't need a million ducks or a 12 inch pianist."

3. Her side job

Needing some extra cash, a young flight attendant started to gig a few call girl jobs. It was funny- whenever a guy inserted his member, she couldn’t break her habit of saying ‘Welcome aboard!’

4. I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig.

It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

5. What do you get when you drop a piano down a coal mine?

A flat Miner!

6. I dated a pirate, she was thiccccccc

with seven seas

7. The day after my surgery, the nurse walked in and said, “I’m here to change your dressing.”

I’m like, “Thank God - this vinaigrette sucks!”

8. During a date. She: Can you love forever?

Me: Yes, sure. I love all the adverbs.

9. What's a prostitute's favourite music genre?

Whore-pera!

10. I was getting the edge of myself and a friend said to me "chill, take a breather"

I replied, without having sense "I don't have asthma, give that to my grandpa instead"

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