What do you call a blood-sucking insect that practices Paganism?

I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall and had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said “Hi! How are you!” Embarrassed, I said “I’m fine.” The voice continued “So what are you up to??” I said, “Just sitting here like you.” Then the voice said, “Can I come over?” Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I said, “Sorry, I’m kind of busy right now.” Then the voice said loudly, “Sorry I’m going to have to call you back - there’s some idiot next to me answering all my questions.”

A waist of time (Insert rim shot here)

Virgin Mobile

But there's no point.

A farmer has a cow with horrible diarrhea and can't figure out how to make it stop, so they call the top scientists in the area, and three respond. One suggests a diaper, but the other two dismiss the idea as preposterous. The second suggests using the results as fertilizer, but the third points out that this does not resolve the problem. The third comes up with the solution, and they all agree, a large plug. This solution works for a while until the cow begins to expand from all the compacted feces. The three scientists decide that the best solution would be to train a monkey to go in and retrieve the plug so as to avoid human injury. Later, at the hospital, the doctors ask the scientists what they remember of what happened. The first scientist describes the horrible, unbearable smell. The second scientist recalls the feeling of being drenched in thousands of pounds of cow diarrhea. When the doctor gets to the third scientist, they say, "All I remember is the poor monkey trying to put the plug back in!" Credit to u/thraway4242

General Hysteria

But I tell them, that's just another word for 'fascinating'.

But it wouldn't work

One's a podcast, the other's a cod past.

I told him sure. My door is always open.