When the devil tells the priest to exit the child's body

at least we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "Hey, Dad."

Neighbor.

Because they would never get returned

Behind a badge.   Edit: Ladies and gentlemen, [I have been ripped off.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2pgvct/where_do_you_hide_after_a_murder/) I shall be gracious and not pursue legal action even though [Nigga stole my yoshi.](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/930873/nigga-stole-my-yoshi-o.gif) edit2: some of the comments in that thread are fantastic

Because i don’t like to meet parents

The bartender asks “what’ll it be officer?”

Oh shit this isn't Google...

Because the last one who had a dream got shot.

While on the trip they are attacked by two bears, one male and one female. The Jew is able to escape; however, the Czech gets eaten by the male bear. Being a good Samaritan the Jew alerts the park ranger that there are two bears on the loose, one of which has eaten his friend. The park ranger then proceeds to kill both of the bears. The Jew asks the park ranger if he can cut the male bear open, so he can retrieve his friend’s remains for a proper burial. The park ranger agrees and goes on to cut open the female bear; the Jew is confused and ask the park ranger why is he cutting the female open when he clearly said his friend is in the male bear. To which, the park ranger responds, “I never trust a Jew that tells me the check’s in the mail!”

It seems to hit them way too close to home.

My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.

Who says they can't integrate into American culture?

Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

There's a little good in everyone

She got her diary published - which is the nightmare any girl. And, she didn't earn a single cent of it - which is the nightmare of any Jew.

“I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Because they can't get past their masters

19 and easily spread.

I said, "You bastard, it's the thought that counts." I could tell by the look in his eyes he would have kicked my head in if he had legs.

I’d have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

Freedom

When the sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up

Both are never going to smash...

the woman

On fire

They stopped after I opened fire though.

So that I could say I come into work everyday.