AshamedConcert1462 25 day.agoLittle JohnnyLittle Johnny is out in the yard with his dad one day and he sees Dad light a cigarette. After watching him for a few seconds, Johnny asks, "Daddy, can I have a puff of your cigarette?" Dad looks at him and says, "Does your dick touch your asshole?" "No, sir." Johnny answered. Dad says, "Then no, you can't have a draw off my cigarette." A short while later, Dad pops open a can of beer. Johnny again watches him for a few seconds then asks Dad, "It sure is hot out here. Can I have a drink of that cold beer?" Dad repeats the question, "Does your dick touch your asshole?" Johnny sheepishly replies, "No, sir." "Well when it does, I'll give you a beer." Soon after, Johnny pulls some candy out of his pocket and starts eating it. Dad says, "Give me a piece of that candy, Johnny." Johnny, seeing his opportunity, asks hid dad, "Well, Daddy, does your dick touch your asshole?" Dad looks at him with a smile and says, "As a matter of fact, son, yes, it does!" Johnny smiles back and tells him, "Good, you can go fuck yourself!"
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A new one popes up.
The smoke alarm wakes him
They gave me a punch card!
Probably from all the times she desserted me.
Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!
Carbon Dating!
If there was a soccer game between humans and bugs, the humans would crush it.
It was the teacher's pet.
But now it's starting to grow on me.
That's why they can perform Frodo synthesis.
A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".
A chicken tender.
now they won’t leaf me alone.
FIZZician!
There was Type-O splattered everywhere.
He said "have to love Easter, baby"
Ten. You need ten ants.
It's a step by step guide
Mooslim
But unfortunately there's no Time!
A neckless.
In case he got a hole in one
It gets discharged. 🙂↕️
… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.
But the broom is what swept the nation.
The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”
But I came up Chort.
What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles
Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’
I'll tell ya tomorrow!
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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