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avatar frank_mania 1 mon.ago

I quit my job because my boss asked me to go to an auction for him.

Call it foolish pride, but I refuse to do anyone else's bidding.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I've just been fired from my job as a manager of a laundromat

I feel like I've been hung up to dry.

2. Did you know it’s illegal for someone to stop peas from rolling down a hill?

That’s because it obstructing the peas

3. A man in a convertible is stuck in traffic

A woman of purchasable virtue leans into the man's car displaying her ample wares and short skirt. She tells him huskily that she can fulfill his wildest fantasy for only $200, but he has to say it in just three words. He asks, "anything I want?" "Yes" she purrs. "Paint my house."

4. I've been thinking about getting back with my ex-wife

But I'm worried she might think that I'm just after my money

5. Did you hear about the couple that stole the calendar?

They each got 6 months.

6. What does the doctor say when playing hide and seek?

ICU

7. What's the female equivalent of tea bagging?

A flappuccino.

8. The Beach Boys walk into a bar.

"Round?" "Round....." "Get a round?" "I'll get a round...."

9. My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.

I lost Interest in that relationship.

10. Did you hear about the person who invented Tic Tacs?

They made a mint.

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