Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
its_luckyluke 2 mon.agoThere was a Scottish house painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, buying paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water... Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.. "Repaint! Repaint!* And thin no more!"*
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One day, Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit O' Honey. So, he took Ms. Hershey behind the Powerhouse on Fifth Avenue. He began to rub his hands over her Mounds which was a real Almond Joy. Next, he slipped his Butterfingers up her Milky Way as she screamed Oh Henry! and grabbed his Peter Paul. The results was a Baby Ruth.
While on a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods pulls up to a petrol station in the middle of the Irish countryside in his BMW. The attendant, having no idea who Tiger is, greets him warmly in the traditional Irish way. “Top of the mornin’ to ye, Sir,” says the attendant. Tiger nods politely and reaches for the petrol nozzle. As he does, two golf tees slip out of his pocket and fall to the ground. The attendant looks down, puzzled, and asks, “What are those?” “They’re tees,” Tiger replies. “Well, what in God’s name are they for?” asks the Irishman, clearly confused. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving,” Tiger explains with a grin. The Irishman’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Fookin' Jaysus,” he says, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Apparently they named their product i-Slam
Otherwise they'd be called bachelor jokes.
Or else I'm calling the crops.
They ignored them and swam away.
Sometimes Mayo neighs
It's sinkhole de Mayo.
They say he’s still in de nile
Shake spear
more jokes Here waiting for you
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