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avatar Phippsy771 2 mon.ago

I had a Russian Uber driver earlier today

His name? Pikup Andropov

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funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A huge parade is taking place in North London to celebrate Tottenham winning the Europa League. Some Arsenal fans have said they'll attend...

As it's the closest the club have been to a European Trophy in years.

2. The UK government is investigating the use of chemical castration in prisons across England and Wales. They got the idea from the former Conservative government...

Who found it was the only way to get some work out of Boris Johnson

3. I once dated a girl that was into reading her own poetry at a club

But we broke up because she wanted me to be honest, and I said her poetry had gone from bad to Verse

4. I don't like using cheap accommodations.

It can be a hostel environment.

5. What kind of mouse walks on two feet?

'Umm not sure...' 'Micky Mouse. Now, what kind of duck walks on two feet?' 'Donald Duck?' 'No. All of em'

6. What do you get when you cross a ruler and a boxer?

A punchline

7. I never saw the ending of Stephen King's IT Chapter 1

But I know it's going down well

8. My doctor told me I need to stop wanking.

Why, I asked! He said, because I am talking to you.

9. What do you call a pornstar working for free?

Pro-boner work

10. An Indian man shows up for his first Karate lesson slathered in butter.

Apparently, he misunderstood the dress code.

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