Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
redvixie 1 mon.agoA married woman confides in her friend about her "dead bedroom""I just miss the passion and drive we used to have in our early twenties," the wife explained. The friend thought for a moment and reached into her purse to pull out a bottle of pills. "My husband and I were in a similar slump a few months ago, but these really helped. Just crush it up and put it in his morning coffee and I promise it will spice things up." The wife takes the pills eagerly and they finish their meetup before parting ways. A few days later, they meet up again and the wife throws the pill bottle back at her friend. "What happened? It didn't work?" The friend asked. "Oh it worked alright," said the wife, fuming. "I crushed it up and put it in his coffee, just like you said. He barely even finished his cup before he pounced on me, threw me on the table, and made wild, passionate love to me like never before." "Then I don't understand; why are you upset?" "Because we can NEVER go back to that Starbucks again."
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I'd like a medium Sprite with that.
sorry
Is it domestic violence or child abuse?
"Mad cow disease" was already taken.
To get the quarter back.
I depends on how many ash trays the car has
Cancer jokes get old after awhile.
Every time somebody calls, "B-29," they seem to disappear.
They asked me what is most commonly found inside cells. Turns out black people wasn't the right answer.
The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Because he finally passed
I can finally use black people as currency again.
They’re all in my basement.
A few seconds later, a big load of fine ashes is poured down on Jacob and a deep voice from above roars, "Here you are, Jacob." Jacob looks down, then he looks up and shyly adds, "They also had gold teeth."
The boy's mother looked disgusted. "WHAT!? You go and tell your father right away!" The boy approached his father." Dad, I had sex with my school teacher today". His mother was shaking her head in disgust. The boy's dad frowned, then said "WELL DONE, SON! You're a man now." The boy's mother threw her arms up and stormed out. "To congratulate you, I'll take you to buy that bicycle you've wanted for a while, right now!" So the father and son buy the bike and leave the shop. As the pair walk, with the boy pushing the bike, the proud father asks "why aren't you riding your new bike, son?" The boy replies, "because my arse is still killing me, Dad".
A bit surprised, she asks, "Really? How do you know that? Are you psychic?" "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Chris "Fuck, I hit her a bit too hard this time".
... his mother told him not to play with guns. But it went in one ear and out the other. [Source] (http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Crime/Suicide/46218)
Black people would rob me.
She slept in our daughter's room.
That's just mean...
Flashbacks.
“Usually an overdose.”
Now you have to play in the NFL :(
A zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds. "How about having sex with a cat?" asks the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it," shouts the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then fuck it again," says the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, fuck it again and then burn it," says the pyromaniac. Silence took over, and then the masochist says: "Meow."
I might be a retard, but at least I’m not fucking one.
So I created an account with the name Coathanger and poked it.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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