A man walks up to the bartender and says "Million dollars? I'm in, what do I have to do?" The bartender days "Task 1, there's a big guy at the end of the bar, he's loud and obnoxious and ruins everyone's enjoyment. I need you to go knock him out. Task 2, there is an alligator out back with an abscesses tooth. I need you to remove the tooth from that alligator. And finally, there's an 80-year-old woman upstairs that hasn't seen any...ehm...male companionship in many years. I need you to address that too. " The man says "Pour me 3 shots of tequila and I'll get it done". The bartender obliged. The man walks up to the big guy at the end of the bar, and without warning punches him square in the jaw. He falls backwards out of this stool, flayed out on the floor. After that, the man walks out the back door to go deal with the alligator, and the door closes behind him. All the bar hears is smashing, grunting, screaming, crashing, all kinds of racket. But eventually, the noise dies down. The man walks back into the bar, bleeding, limping, and with clothes torm to pieces. He goes to the bartender and says... "Alright, where's the lady with the bad tooth?"
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It’s the Bark Web
An Elk Amino. Got my wife with this one today. I'll see myself out.
Because they give a good tongue lashing down under!
Because it needed to go to the bathroom.
HAN SHOT FIRST! (Happy StarWars Day everybody)
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I didn’t understand what he was getting at but I’m sure he meant well.
The first economist says to the second, *“I’ll pay you $1000 to eat that pile of shit.”* The second economist takes the $1000 and eats the pile of shit. They continue walking until they come across a second pile of shit. The second economist says to the first, *“I’ll pay you $1000 to eat that pile of shit.”* The first economist takes the $1000 and eats it. After walking a bit more, the first economist says: *“You know, I gave you $1000 to eat shit, then you gave me back the same $1000 to eat shit. I can't help but feel like we both just ate shit for nothing.”* *“That's not true,”* the second economist replies. *“We increased the GDP by $2000!”*
Other than sphere itself.
They are installing a horsefield.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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