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avatar AriaPlayer1386 1 mon.agoA Jewish father sends his son to Israel to deepen his connection to Judaism...

After a few months, the son returns and says, "Dad, I’ve become a Christian." Shocked, the father confides in his friend, who listens and then sighs, "That’s strange… I sent my son to Israel last year, and he also came back a Christian!" Baffled, they decide to visit their Rabbi for guidance. After hearing their stories, the Rabbi strokes his beard and says, "This is unbelievable… My son also went to Israel—and he too came back a Christian!" Now completely bewildered, they agree there’s only one place left to turn. Together, they pray: "Oh God, what is happening? We send our sons to Israel to strengthen their Judaism, and they all return as Christians!" A deep voice rumbles from the heavens: "Tell me about it..."

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How many people with alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

2. A black kid complimented my shirt.

He said, "Nice shirt faggot." I replied, "Thanks, it's 100% cotton. Tell your grandparents I said thanks."

3. My grandma died just six days before my birthday

Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I had nothing to wish for.

4. I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, "One day, this could be you."

So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.

5. What do you call an IT teacher who touches his students

A PDF file

6. If a Muslim beats his wife...

is he charged with assault, or child abuse?

7. What's the difference between /r/MeanJokes and your mother's cunt?

Your mother's cunt gets some new content every once in a while. Seriously, the amount of reposts going on in the past few months, both comments and posts, is sickening.

8. I asked a Chinese girl for her number.

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

9. Whats the difference between a Glock .45 and my cock?

Kid stops crying when the gun goes off in it's mouth

10. Whats the difference between yogurt and America?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture

11. What is black and long?

The line at KFC.

12. OFFICIAL REQUEST: Please stop with the 9/11 jokes, my uncle died in the explosions

At least he took 300 infidels with him too.

13. I think women are a lot like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken...

So every once in a while, when no one"s looking...you just have to stick it in a handicap one.

14. What do u call 2 nuns and a prostitute playing football?

2 tight ends and a wide receiver

15. What do blond girls and Australians have in common

Most of them are gold diggers

16. What’s the easiest way to babysit a black kid?

Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell it to jump

17. Only one thing makes superman weak.

Horses

18. My 16 year old daughter came home today and said, "Dad, I'd like you to meet my new boyfriend Mike." "Are you kidding me?!" I said. "What the fuck are you doing with this ugly loser? Don't scrape the barrel, you can do much better than this."

"Dad!!" my daughter screamed. "Mike is lovely!" "I know." I replied. "I was talking to him."

19. What's a term that relates Catholic priests and school shooters?

Spray and pray.

20. If online bullying has taught us anything...

It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.

21. What's the difference between Victoria and a gun pointed at a black guy?

Nothing, don't give a shit if either get fired.

22. I was in the bar, quietly enjoying a beer, when this big, fat, ugly broad came up an started talking to me...

I asked, "Excuse me, do you have a pen?" She replied, "Yes, why?" I said, "Well, you better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you've escaped."

23. What's the difference between USA and Yoghurt?

Over 200 years, yoghurt develops a culture

24. I painted my laptop black so it would run quickly.

Now it doesn't work. Then I painted white, hoping it would work hard. Now the whole system is corrupt. Then I painted it yellow, hoping it would fix itself. Now the drivers have crashed.

25. My girlfriends dog just died so I got her an identical one.

Now she's got two dead dogs.

26. A black man walked into my store and bought some polyester pants.

It's weird because they usually pick cotton.

27. what do you call black cum

whipped cream

28. What do you get when you cross a black person with water

Nicaragua

29. How do you piss of an archaeologist

Hand him a used tampon and ask what period it came from

30. Helicopter parenting is very detrimental to a child.

Just ask Gianna Bryant.

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