Yo mama so fat, every time I think about her, she broke my neck

What’s holding you back?

Because gravity always brings you down

Too many assumptions.

They ended up closing, sadly. They were always short staffed.

A Sue Chef

It truly is a dead language.

Little Johnny asks his mother: "Momma do angels really fly?" Mother answers: "Yes, baby!" Little Johnny: "But Carmen doesn't fly?" Mother: "Carmen is our maid, Johnny, not an angel!" Little Johnny: "But daddy calls her my angel!" Mother furiously: "Oh, she will fly, all right!" \-------------------------------------------------- Wife and husband are eating in the restaurant and a blonde girl comes on over, kisses husband and then leaves. Wife: "Who was that?" Husband: "Oh, Sarah, she is my mistress!" Wife angrily: "You gotta be kidding me, you are cheating on me!" Husband coldly: "Yes, I am fucking her on the side!" Wife even angrier: "I want a divorce, I am proud independent woman, I wont allow you to embarrass me like this!" Husband coldly: "Fine, but as the company is mine, and you signed prenup, I will take the house we live in, the car you drive, the black card you have and spend the money!" Wife then sees his business partner with a hot redhead: "Who is she?" Husband: "Oh she? She is his mistress!" Wife: "Ours is better!"

It's not stroganoff.

I am not a fan.

In breaking news she has admitted that Charlie Sheen is the kids father. Miss Heard said the children will be raised by their father and will take his name. She agreed that the children should be Sheen and not Heard.