ahjteam 1 year.ago

What was the American solution to increased school shootings?

To ban abortions, so there will be enough targets for the future school shooters too!

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. You know the German government hired a bunch of gymnasts from Prague?

Yeah, they wanted a system of Czechs and Balances.

2. An upset mother asked her doctor what was the status of her son who had swallowed a quarter.

And the doctor said, "No change yet!"

3. My kids were pretending to be the national symbol of Canada.

They’re just playing maple leaf.

4. What's the difference between being hungry and horney?

The place where you stick the cucumber

5. What does a clone say to acknowledge the receipt of a command?

Copy that.

6. I met a gay couple who were both mathematicians

I wonder who the denominator of the two is.

7. A man and a woman were out on a first date together.

Everything was going great and they were getting along really well, when out of nowhere the woman commented on the size of the man’s hands and feet. "I didn't notice earlier, but you have remarkably small hands and feet!" The man taken aback by such an unexpected observation thought quickly and replied somewhat flirtatiously, "Well, it’s because my testosterone focused on other parts of my body, if you know what I mean..." giving the woman a cheeky wink as he finished speaking. The woman, rather impressed and turned on by his smooth response slides across closer to the man and puts her hand on his thigh, at which point the guy continued, "Yeah, I have a really hairy back."

8. My neighbor made it to the Top 20 on American Idol, but was later disqualified.

It really sucks to make a difficult cut only to be kicked out later. I should know, the same thing happened to me when I converted to Judaism.

9. What kind of tea does the sad man want?

Pity.

10. I can’t concentrate for long enough to properly draw an ellipse.

I always seem to lose focus.

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What was the American solution to increased school shootings?

darkjoke

nsfw

funny dad jokes