What did the kinder surprise chocolate say to the guy from Alabama who was having the chocolate for the first time ?

...be Mother Fuckers Day?

It was an emergent sea

Ex-spidered

(This is my first joke post on reddit. I completely made this up. Hopefully my delivery is ok) ..and have a seat next to each other. The ladies order a drink each from the bartender and start to relax. First lady says "I think I've been too harsh with my husband. The other night he didn't like the food I cooked and he threw it on the floor. I then put a restraining order on him!" "That IS harsh!" the second lady says, "but I think I got you beat. My husband robbed a convenience store last month and I became the prosecutor's star witness!" Third lady says "I think I got you both beat. My husband didn't wish me Happy Mother's Day last year. I then voted for Agent Orange and my husband's now getting deported to Guantanamo!"

Is a life long fan of the White Sox and Da Bears, and still believes in God. That's real faith.

Miso Horny

Those weren't his exact words, but he said I needed to eliminate the stress in my life.

“When you die .. nothing happens ! “

It leans to the left - it usually votes Democrat.

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn't answer him. The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy storms away in anger after not being answered. The customer who was waiting in line behind the muscular guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?" The clerk replies, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"