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avatar LelandEMcKnight 1 year.ago

A bicycle clown and his girlfriend go to the abortion clinic...

The doctor takes one look at the clown and says to his girlfriend, "I'll terminate this mistake for free, before it ruins your life... But the abortion will cost ya $200."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

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1. I was running a chicken dating website, but I had to close it down…

I was struggling to make hens meet.

2. A husband says to his wife:

"I'm going to take a picture of your boobs and frame it." "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it," she replied.

3. Did you hear about the waiter that spilled hot Indian food on a rude customer?

It was instant Korma.

4. Why you haven't seen the parents of a Transgender

Cuz they are trans-parent

5. While on a roadtrip, my wife insisted that we visit a number of local tea houses, even though it would mean diverting from the main road.

It would just be a quick tea-tour.

6. A Sort of Easter Story

It was Easter, so Jesus and Moses decided to revisit their old stomping grounds, just for old times sake. They decided to stop at the Red Sea. Moses pondered, "Can I still part the waters?" He raised his staff, and the waters parted. Lowered the staff and the waters came back together. Moses did this several times, each time the waters parted just like the first time. Jesus wondered, "Can I still walk upon the waters like I did?" He stepped onto a rock on the shoreline, looked at Moses, and stepped off the rock, onto the water. He immediately plunged to the bottom. Sputtering, he dragged himself back onto the rock for another attempt. Stepping off the rock for a second time, he again sank to the bottom. He climbed back on the rock, and decided maybe the third time was the charm. Nope, same result! After wringing the water out of his robe, he asked Moses "Why isn't this working? I used to be able to walk on the waters." Moses replied "Well, the last time you walked on the waters, you didn't have holes in your feet"

7. I got a new iphone for my wife.

Best trade deal ever.

8. What do dogs eat at Easter

Hot cross bones. (OC: my daughter when she was 6)

9. Kids love Easter hunts. They're egg sighting.

10. I told my wife today that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler. She said, "It's crazy to think that such a disgusting loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people....

.... shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

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