What does a Muslim clock do?

You just arr.

He mastered the seas-onings.

Just duet.

The waiter responds, “Excellent choice. And what year?” The blond replies “Well, duh - we want it now!”

A blonde gets pulled over by a cop and he asks to see her driver’s license. The blonde says “What’s that?” The cop replies “Well, it’s a little plastic thing with your face on it.” The blonde goes through her handbag, pulls out a makeup mirror and gives it to the cop. He stares at it for a few seconds and says “Why didn’t you tell me you were a police officer?”

Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

Chelsea Clinton.

Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

She walks into an Internet café to send an e-mail to her mom back home. She doesn’t know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: “Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mom?” "Sure," he says to her, “But it will cost you.” The blonde says, “Sure I’ll do anything for my mom.” “In that case, follow me.” She follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers. “Well go on then, you said you’d do anything!” So she grabs his penis, holds it up to her mouth and says: “Hello… mom are you there?”

Oh, really? Nice to meet you “capable of writing an actual dad joke anymore”