saulbq 1 year.ago

My word neighbour can up to me and said, "you know the difference between a dead prostitute and a Rolls Royce?", I said, "no I don't", and he said, "well I don't have a Rolls Royce in my garage".

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. A Death Row Guard walked down a long corridor to the last cell on the left.

He turned and asked the female prisoner "What would you like to eat for your last meal? She replied "I dunno, whatta you want?"

2. Scientists have successfully built a device that bring people back from the dead.

They took 3 corpses into the lab and ran experiments. Subject 1 gets revived and thanks the scientists for saving him from Hell. Subject 2 gets revived and proceeds to scold the scientists for bringing him away from Heaven. Subject 3 gets revived and immediately runs away. When asked, he replies: "What the hell, I was playing Doom! Why'd you bring me here?"

3. A nearby manicurist has a special offer for Good Friday.

The first three nails are free.

4. My roofer called out sick

He has shingles

5. Can anyone tell me what oblivious means?

I have no idea.

6. What do you call a fish that's next to a variable?

A Koi-fish-ent

7. I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

8. Please don’t go to an all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet if you have a shellfish allergy.

You could krill yourself.

9. Called my dad to say that I’ve been feeling kind of down lately - like maybe I’m not as unique as I once believed…like I’ve never even had an original thought.

He paused and said, “Yeah…I’ve been thinking that too.”

10. My family all got baked together

Now they’re all in bread

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My word neighbour can up to me and said, "you know the difference between a dead prostitute and a Rolls Royce?", I said, "no I don't", and he said, "well I don't have a Rolls Royce in my garage".

darkjoke

nsfw

funny dad jokes