What did the cow say to the man in its way?

A spectator! 🥔

Because it's cap sized.

"My lips are sealed"

Since they treasure chests.

I have no idea how she’s going to get the paint off

'Cause they fast

Guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I'm going nuts, you gotta help me." "Every night, I go to sleep, and I dream the same dream. I'm driving a long-distance truck across the country - I wake up every morning exhausted. I'm getting no rest, my real work is suffering, what can I do?" The doc thinks a bit, and says, "Okay, try this. Tonight, when you're asleep, and you're getting ready to get in your truck... call me. I'll come over and drive your shift for you, you can take the night off and sleep. Let me know how this goes." The next morning, the doc gets a call from his patient. "Doc, you're a genius! Last night, I called you as I was getting ready to leave, you came over, I got to stay home! I woke up refreshed, today is gonna be wonderful!" The doctor is really proud of himself, but tells the guy to come in next week anyway, in case the plan breaks down. Patient shows up, tells the doc he's never felt better, every night he gets a full night's sleep because the doc has been driving his truck, he's over the moon. The psychiatrist is happy too - fastest 'cure' he's ever seen. A couple of months later, someone new comes in. "I don't know what to do - I'm having the same dream every night. I go to sleep and then I'm supposed to take a fishing trawler out... I wake up every morning exhausted, every muscle hurts. I can't go on like this!" The doctor says "Don't worry, I had a patient like this before, I've got you. Tonight, after you go to sleep, when you're getting ready to get on the boat, give me a call. I'll come over and take your shift for you. Try this for a week, come back and see me on Tuesday." Tuesday, the guy comes back - he looks awful. Clothes in disarray, hasn't washed, hasn't shaved. Doc says "What happened? Didn't you call me to take your shift for you?" "Yeah, doc, I called you. And called you. And called you. Every night, I'd call you up... and every night, your wife would tell me you were out driving some stupid truck!"

A man’s undivided attention.

I can stop anytime I want.

He sold his soul to Santa