Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Genius_Mate 3 year.agoWhile walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "There's no need! I want to be in Heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, the doors open, and he rides the elevator down, down, down. When the doors open again, the senator finds himself in the middle of a beautiful green golf course. In the distance is a club, and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in formal dress. They run to greet him, and they reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before the senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns. "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, you must choose where you want to spend eternity." He reflects for a minute and then answers, "Well, I would never would have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better satisfied in Hell." So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator, and down, down, down he goes into Hell. Now, the doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. And it's hot, hot, hot, and the odor is just horrible. Sweltering hot. Hot and miserable. The Devil comes over to him and smoothly lays his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "The day before I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable." The Devil looks at the senator, smiles, and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us."
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It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was. "$3.14 sir." he replied. "That's funny." I chuckled. "What's that sir?" he asked. "That Down's syndrome boy just tried to hug that heater and burnt himself." We both had a good laugh.
It's going to make my new gym look really gay.
It would be the first time a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family......
And the rapist thinks "Wow, this lady is kinky"
I told them: "No, I just brush my kids teeth before I go in."
About €10
They do it all the time but get really angry when white people join in.
My dad was holding me from behind.
"Holy shit! I'm pregnant????"
Now it doesn't work.
It was sore and bloody, but at least my dad came.
He goes up and asks "How many of you have a cock?" And all the men stand up "No no, I'm sorry I said that wrong. How many of you have seen a cock?" And all the women stand up "I'm sorry let me rephrase that," said the priest "How many of you have seen my cock?" And all the Sunday school children stand up
So I threw acid in her face and called her a whore.
One is a superhero, the other is a command
A celebrity fucks kids in Hollywood, a priest fucks kids with holy wood
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
They don't. They arrest the light bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
I joined in. She was gang-raped by 5 men.
Alien vs. Predator
To go to the Feminists Convention
The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Imagination. ---------------- [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Muslim/60327)
Because millions of them have already been roasted.
Q: How do you kill a redneck? A: Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house. Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A: Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A: Nothing you already done told her twice. Q: How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? A: Flip it upside-down. Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free. Q: What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? A: He broke his nose. Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? A: Nine months. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up like an altarboy. Q: What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A: A spicket fence. Q: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None,they just sit in the dark and bitch Q: Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? A: 200 Mexicans died. Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile. Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? A: Before the First Period. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. Q: What is a redneck virgin? A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
That seems like pretty good odds to me.
A ginger with two friends.
Mrs. Hawking
The black man asks, "What are you doing?" The Chinese man says, "Whenever I throw a coin down these steps, it tells me the name of my ancestor." He threw down a coin to show him. 'Chin Kong Chi.' "I'ma try this," The black man said as he swiped a coin from the Chinese man, "It better say my grandpa's name or i'ma beat yo ass." He threw a coin down the steps. 'Chim Pan Zee'
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