cigamodnalro 4 year.agoAt birth, success is being alive. At age 3, success is not pooping your pants. At age 10, success is having friends. At age 16, success is having a driver's license. At age 20, success is having sex. At age 30, success is having money...At age 40, success is having money. At age 55, success is having sex. At age 70, success is having a driver's license. At age 75, success is having friends. At age 80, success is not pooping your pants. At age 100, success is being alive.
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Apparently she was offering 2 year old pussy on Tinder.
The man's because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen
But at least they drive through school zones slower
Couldn't find her head..
It's all over.
I thought, fuck me, I might win this.
When she takes her tampon out and the cotton is picked off.
XXXTENTACION, Juice Wrld, and Mac Miller
Let's Go Bully The Queers
Apparently, orphans don't have a sense of humor.
If the guy turns out to be innocent, I follow the girl home and rape her. Nobody is going to believe her anyway.
It really kind of spoiled our 10th anniversary dinner.
Her miscarriage.
My wife is white and it's hard to hide all the bruises
Little Seizures.
Going to an Oregon community college
So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall
But haven't seen their kids in over a year. Wakanda father are you?
I was bloody and sore afterwards, but at least my dad came.
For some reason she kept yelling out her age
Little Seizures
She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...
Pump kin
But that's just low hanging fruit
I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
I like black people just as much as normal people
There were three gay men and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili." Confused, the coroner asked, "WHY?" In which the third gay guy responded, "So he can tear my ass up one more time."
I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was just an accident
Hitler turns to his generals in outrage and says “You’re supposed to bake them until they’re dead!”
"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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