Cool_Chemix 4 year.agoA wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake. "Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said. So the father visited a ton of different bakeries and did research, but found the prices to be too high. *My daughter is inviting all of her friends, and I'll look bad if I don't put together a good cake*, he thought. Then, he stumbled upon a shop that opened once a year to provide free cake to its customers. *How quaint,* the father thought, but desperate, he walked inside to see if they could provide a cake for his daughter's birthday. He was met by a Buddhist monk chanting and lighting incense. "Hello," the father asked, "I would like to buy a cake." "Of course," the monk replied, "just draw a picture of the cake you would like on the notepad on the desk." The father thought this to be weird, but wanting to save as much money as possible, he gave him the address and told him to come in the backdoor, just in case the cake was bad. The day of the party arrived and the monk visited the house with the most extravagant cake the family had ever seen. All of the guests were in awe, and whispered to each other about how much the cake could have cost. The monk became the guest of honor and at the end of the party, the father approached the monk and asked, "Why do you do this for free? You should take money for your services!" The monk smiled and said, "I do this for free because a cake day is the best way to earn karma." PART 2 and PART 3 in my profile
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I should try not to laugh so hard.
When they see an x and a y they get triggered.
To beat the crowd.
They don’t want to get caught steeling from your car
Didn’t John F Kennedy promise to serve a full term?
It was my aunt’s babyshower
V-Guard
But it was no use. Diego and Jose shoved the cocaine up my ass and sent me back over the border.
They are similar to the new macOS, a big sur
Because it's everyday bro
does anybody know why this Muslim guy keep on saying crazy w o r dddd ssssss
Pull the pin and throw it back
When she burps, you hear babies cry
Chinkies!
Pig roast
"choking noises"
How can you tell that your acne is really getting out of hand? The blind starts reading your face.
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
“Ow, my spine!”
They’ll just hold you down, Look what happened to Kobe
One says to the other, let’s go in and get shitfaced.
She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.
He was born black Died blacker
Especially when you realise there isn't a cyclist on it.
He spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar and approaches her. ‘Would you like to dance?’ he asks her. ‘I really don’t like this song,’ she replies, ‘and even if I did I wouldn’t dance with you.’ ‘I don’t think you heard me correctly,’ says the man. ‘I said you look fat in those pants.’
The unemployment line.
because i'm a necrophiliac pedophile.
Until it went into labor Edit: Until it had a miscarriage
After a bullets killed someone it’s been fired
more jokes Here waiting for you
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