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avatar Duckbites 4 year.agoA cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit. He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?” She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard. The cop rubs his chin and thinks for a moment and then says " OK lady, I'll take that bet." He guesses that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk. “However did you guess that young man?" The old lady says grasping her pearls. "You see ma'am," the cop said snatching up the hundred-dollar bill, "This is Reddit. After I read about you on the third repost, I knew I'd find you soon enough."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Dad I have a Question

Son: How do stars die? Dad: An overdose, usually.

2. Why do some people have turbans wrapped around their heads and others have a dot on their forehead?

The difference is pull start or push start.

3. Nickname for allison

Hey guys, my best friends name is allison. Her name rhymes with nothing. My name rhymes with everything. She came up with an admittedly hilarious and very mean nickname for me the other day (all in good fun) and we are trying to make one for her now too. I'll take anything no matter how inappropriate. This request broke 2 different AI generators because I guess AI is bad at being mean, so now I'm turning to the professionals, please help us reddit.

4. What ghost is a drug addict?

Danny Fentanyl

5. Why did the White Chicken cross the road ?

to D.E.I

6. Flint Michigan Water Crisis Joke

Two guys watching a flint Michigan basketball game. One guy says “man this Flint team is really good, what are they putting in the water over there?” The other guy says “lead”.

7. Immigrant Joke

What do you call an incarcerated illegal immigrant while they’re in the states? Locked in alien.

8. I threw a ball and yelled kobe!

I missed coworker said I didn't make it. I replied neither did he.

9. Two kids are sitting in classroom, one is Jewish and the other is antisemitic. The Jewish kid can't concentrate during the lesson and the teacher tells him that in her class you need to concentrate.

The antisemitic kid says: maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp.

10. Yo I met kid with down syndrome and I said hey buddy just look up and u got up syndrome

Am I mean or not

11. Why did the pedophile say when he got arrested outside the school

I was cumming for the kids

12. What do you call a truckload of dildos?

Toys for Twats.

13. Why are Mexicans scared of hockey??

Because of ICE essay

14. Girl's talk

Girl 1: What do I do? Girl 2: What's wrong? Girl 1: I think my boyfriend got me pregnant Girl 2: is it too late? Girl 1: about 2 months now Girl 2: Damn Girl 1: My mom's gonna kill me Girl 2: I bet that baby's thinking the same thing

15. What are mixed feelings?

It’s when you see your mother in law is falling down the cliff in your new Mercedes

16. Perfect Present For Mum?

My mum turns 76 tomorrow and I wanted to get her something really special. I thought one of those 4,000-week calendars (the average life expectancy) would be perfect. To personalise it, I've filled in nearly all the boxes for her—just the last line left blank for her to finish. She'll be touched, right?

17. What did the gay midget do?

Came out of the cabinet

18. Parody idea

On YouTube, "Full day of eating" videos are all the rage among fitness influencers. Well, here's my idea to parody this trend: Title: *Full day of eating (disorder)* Video: An anorexic girl eats a slice of lemon, video ends.

19. what soup did Hitler eat at his last meal? Gestapo soup.

20. I painted my laptop black so it would run faster.

But now it just doesn’t work.

21. What do you call a Japanese karate master who’s father suffers from diarrhea

A Slap Happy Jappy with a Crap happy pappy

22. Light a fire for a homeless man and you keep him warm for a day...

Set a homeless man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

23. Roberta Flack died today.

I guess his song finally killed her.

24. The Jam’s drummer Rick Buckler has died aged 69.

He’s Going Underground…

25. Radio show

Host: " Tell me a word which I don't know and you win a prize " Phone rings Caller: " Word is goan. Spelt g o a n" Host: "Can you use it in a sentence please" Caller:" Goan f...k yourself" Host hans up Phone rings again Caller:" Word is tsmee. Spelt t s m e e” Host: "Can you use it in a sentence please" Caller:" Tsmee again. Goan f…k yourself"

26. The Doctor tells a guy: “I don’t like the way your wife looks”.

“I know” says the guy, “but she’s a good cook and the kids like her.”

27. What do women have in common with shrimp?

The pink parts are good but the heads are full of shit.

28. Dad Jokes

Hey there! If you're a fan of dad jokes and love a good laugh, check out my site! It’s packed with fun features: Get a New Joke: Every time you need a laugh, just scroll or swipe and a fresh joke will pop up. Save Your Faves: Found a joke you love? Save it for later and keep all your favorites in one place. Share the Laughs: Want to share a joke with friends? You can easily share it with a tap. Fullscreen Mode: Want a bigger view? Switch to fullscreen for a better experience. Search Saved Jokes: You can even search your saved jokes to find that perfect one. Cool Popup Notifications: Get notifications when you save a joke or do something cool! If you're interested or have any questions, feel free to DM me! I’d love to hear your thoughts and chat more about it. 😊

29. Cuanto es la mitad de 18 menos 9?

30. Conservatives and Liberals both want the same thing

Gender reveal parties for seven year olds

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