Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Doc-in-a-box 5 year.agoA good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessitiesIt was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. Also, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,"it's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." EDIT: formatting...
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Neighbor
“It’s not stealing if no one wants it”
He just can’t hold it
Rape.
By putting flowers on his grave.
He didn't want to miss the midnight premier of Planet of the Apes.
I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
How am I supposed to know, after 6 minutes I'm done jacking off and have lost all interest.
A Sandy Hook.
Trick question, feminists can't change anything
Because they bring out the kid in you.
A turkey
Usually all the best ones are taken, so when no ones looking, stick it in the disabled one.
Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer.
My cock.
Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, it was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage I thought, " Hang on a fucking minute"
See-Four
Get pulled over, the cop tells them " I'm sorry to bother you but we're looking for two child molesters" the priests look at each other, talk for a minute and say " ok we'll do it"
He was caught drinking on the job!
Because they have to.
Nobody should ever be subjected to country music.
Afterwards the doctor comes in and tells them, "I have good news and bad news." Concerned, they ask for the bad news first. He tells them that the baby is a ginger. The parents say, "Well I guess we can learn to live with a ginger baby. It might not be so bad. What's the good news?" "It's dead!"
He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
Then itll never come for me
So blind people could hate them too
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog...
Break her fingers, so she can't tell anyone
His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.
Because he can't do stand up
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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