samasante 6 year.agoA young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250.The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe’s house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’ Joe replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve spent it already.’ Joe said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’ The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with it? Joe said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ The farmer said, ‘You can’t flog a dead horse!’ Joe said, ‘Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’ A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, ‘What happened with that dead horse?’ Joe said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 apiece and made a profit of £2495.’ The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’ Joe said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back.’
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An explanation a black man gives to his boy about where he's been.
Probably cocaine
The priest says, "let's go f**k that little boy" The rabbi replies, "f**k him out of what?"
A quarter pounder with cheese.
They get pissed if you touch their children
...and broke his nose.
Neither have they
A quarter pounder with cheese!
Nuclear fusion.
You need a licence to shoot a gun.
One of them rubs it and poof, there was a genie. He said that each one of them has 3 wishes, de the bear goes first and says:” make every female bear in this forest fall in love with me, with a click of his finger and boom every female bear fell in love with him. Then the squirrel goes:” I would like some walnuts!” With another click of his finger and the squirrel had some walnuts, the bear suddenly said:”walnuts? You could have whatever you want and you chose walnuts?” When it came to there other wish the bear said:”now make every female bear in this city fall in love with me” and boom he had his wish granted. For the squirrel he said he would like some nuts, the bear replied: “I swear you’re dumb you could’ve chosen money fame or even women and you choose nuts?” For their 3rd wish the bear said:” I would like every female bear in this world to fall in love with me” and that wish also was granted. When it came to the squirrels last wish the squirrel said in a Loud voice:” now I want this mother f*cker to be gay
Oops i burnt one
A Smoothie Maker
The piñata!
Gay!?!? FAGet-about it
It's not fun beating her if she's into it and not in pain.
..all the blame goes to the lazyass cancer who couldn't finish the fucking job before the chemotherapy started.
One has AV aids, the other HIV aids.
Throw the wife and kids in
Good things come in small packages.
Kindling
Wife 2: Where's Billy, your handicapped husband? Wife 1: Damn-it, I think I left him in the shower. Wife 2: You showered him today? That's not like you. Wife 1: Oh no, sweetie. We had to throw out our bath mat, so I stood on him during my shower; cheaper than a new mat.
Via the equator.
Steven Paddock got a 7 kill streak, and this deployed an attack helicopter. The second helicopter came after he got a 9 kills. You should be grateful he just wanted to shoot people didn't use the Tactical Nuke after he got 25 kills. People talking about conspiracy theories clearly don't understand how kill-streaks work. It was only one guy, he just got the choppers from kill streak rewards.
"What was that?" snapped my wife. "You herd."
Shadow Raid.
A good start.
They die in tunnels.
don't expect the coronavirus to last it was made in china
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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