Alec935 6 year.ago[Serious] Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive.A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar. I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well...until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones...and picked the worst possible one to start with. Here's the joke I told: "What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Throw your washing (laundry if you're American) in." One of the new friends instantly became enraged and swung for me. When I asked him what the hell his problem was he replied that his younger brother was epileptic and died in the bath many years ago. Obviously I felt mortified as I didn't know about it, and said "I'm so sorry to hear that. Did he drown?" "No," replied the guy. "He choked on a sock."
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Get pulled over, the cop tells them " I'm sorry to bother you but we're looking for two child molesters" the priests look at each other, talk for a minute and say " ok we'll do it"
He was caught drinking on the job!
Because they have to.
Nobody should ever be subjected to country music.
Afterwards the doctor comes in and tells them, "I have good news and bad news." Concerned, they ask for the bad news first. He tells them that the baby is a ginger. The parents say, "Well I guess we can learn to live with a ginger baby. It might not be so bad. What's the good news?" "It's dead!"
He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
Then itll never come for me
So blind people could hate them too
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog...
Break her fingers, so she can't tell anyone
His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.
Because he can't do stand up
The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
Cause they have to.
Are You Tighter Than a Fifth Grader?
Cervical cancer
Because there are targets on every corner.
One, if it is a man.
Look for the cardboard sign.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.
Most of the german genocides can be swept under the carpet
She started her period. Edit: This joke courtesy of the homeless guy outside the 7-11. I tipped him a beer.
The whites are usually pretty useless
The Nazi
When you dump a load in the washer, It will not follow you around for two months.
It got a million stars.
Go ahead, call the police, we'll see who comes first.
The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen.
One is on the cover of Playboy and one is on the cover of National Geographic.
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