Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
6 year.agoA man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit....... The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge," he says. "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. "Then it was just a matter of switching the heads"
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But now it's starting to grow on me.
That's why they can perform Frodo synthesis.
A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".
A chicken tender.
now they won’t leaf me alone.
FIZZician!
There was Type-O splattered everywhere.
He said "have to love Easter, baby"
Ten. You need ten ants.
It's a step by step guide
Mooslim
But unfortunately there's no Time!
A neckless.
In case he got a hole in one
It gets discharged. 🙂↕️
… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.
But the broom is what swept the nation.
The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”
But I came up Chort.
What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles
Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’
I'll tell ya tomorrow!
I don't want to interrupt her.
She’s goes, “Yeah…that’s a stretch.”
I responded with “I didn’t know they could do that”
He got a little behind in his work!
No, but an Applewood
Me : I don't know. Dad : You can tuna a piano but you can't piano a tuna. Me : What about the pot of glue? Dad: I knew you'd get stuck on that.
Until knight fall.
If I was a dinosaur I would be a backasaurus. i came up with this on the spot, I'm really proud of it and I think it's a new one, has this been said/done before?
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