.... The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge," he says. "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. "Then it was just a matter of switching the heads"
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
The Bartender says “That’s pretty cool, where’d ya get that?” The parrot then says “in the jungle, there’s millions of em!”
He told me I was a paranoid racist, well he never actually said that. But I know what the Black Cunt was thinking...
the most when theyre all working for free.
Little Seizures
Anyone that can run, jump, or swim is already in the US
One per order
One of them collapsed and stopped breathing. The other one calls 911. Operator: How can I help you? Man: My friend just fell over dead in the woods! Operator: Calm down sir, I can help you. First make sure he's actually dead. (Silence, then a loud bang) Man: Okay..... Now what?
Not much, just some minor similarities
A snow blower.
Because they had to jump an entire wall to get here.
They could make you a square on the AIDS Quilt.
The hooked can wash her crack and sell it again
"I can, Sir...." WRONG! It was "Breast."
Gonorrhea
Grounded up and stored in a freezer
A pilot u racist bitch.
Brought to my house in a sack, peeled and boiled, cut up and eaten.
They're such an inspiration for me to act like I care.
Couse god gives them back time spent for parking their car.
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Ground up and stored in the freezer
they both need a hit or two to get working
Onions was a good dog
The race
The broad's name? Melania
A delivery driver u racist cnt
A quarter pounder with cheese
I guess they aren’t Wayfair to children
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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