Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Sold." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?" Boy - "$350" Man - "Highway robbery. Sold." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
They can’t find the 11 on the phone!
Photoshop - if you're good at it.
The guy with the hydraulic press would kill the baby for free, and he'll do ones that have already been born. He makes a lot of money, everybody loves watching a the compressed fetus goo squeezed out of the dead woman's vagina. The pro-choice finally did admit that abortion was murder, so we are now just the pro-murder movement. We love watching people be murdered by the hydraulic press.
They were having a pillow fight.
I really did not see that coming in "The Empire Strikes Back."
When they get the final solution.
Wongthink
At 69 they blow a rod.
The abortion was planned.
Batman and Batmen
She prefers being called big-boned.
LGBBQ
Because that’s shoplifting
Neither did she
They rearranged the furniture.
I don't care if she has either
It was for impersonating an officer
The bartender says "what will it be officer?"
i had no idea what i was doing, but dad was sure keen to show me
While kids in foreign countries bring their MP3 players to school, we bring our MP5s! ​ EDIT: We now bring MP7s. EDIT #2: We now bring MP9s! Holy shit, we really upgraded quickly! EDIT #3: Well shit, it's lockdown... hope we get an MP11 sooner or later!
N_ _ _ _ _ _ s
More like third reich feminism
Doctor-Whats wrong? Me-I love to help blind and mute people, I think I'm insane!! Doctor-How is that bad?? Me- I mean the adjective
Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke.
because they have developed a taste for pepper spray.
I shouted, “My money's on the one with the knife!" You should’ve seen them both run away.
I think it's because he's got an overactive knife and fork.
I was only protecting him from a sniper. Lucky for him I saw the laser sight before the guy took one in the head.
I think it was a fitting metaphor for his company’s attitude to battery life.
Unless there are no seals around.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆