She took one out, put it on her thumb, and told me to make sure it was on tight. I still looked confused. She looked around the store to see if it was empty and it was. "Just a minute." she said and locked the door. She led me to the back room, took off her shirt and bra. "You like these?" I could only nod my head. She said to put the condom on. As I was putting it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down. "Come on." she said. "We don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so amazing that I couldn't hold back and KAPOW! I was done in two minutes! She looked at me concerned and asked, "Did you put the condom on?" I said, "I sure did!" ...and held up my thumb to show her.
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
But haven't seen their kids in over a year. Wakanda father are you?
I was bloody and sore afterwards, but at least my dad came.
For some reason she kept yelling out her age
Little Seizures
She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...
Pump kin
But that's just low hanging fruit
I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
I like black people just as much as normal people
There were three gay men and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili." Confused, the coroner asked, "WHY?" In which the third gay guy responded, "So he can tear my ass up one more time."
I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was just an accident
Hitler turns to his generals in outrage and says “You’re supposed to bake them until they’re dead!”
"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
I had sex with my girlfriend last night. It was her first time so she bled. I told her not to worry, in a few years she'll bleed every month.
They already have enough on their plate.
You put a windsheild over her eyes.
It involved 8 black men and a gun
You have to drop the bomb twice to get it across to her
But I'd feel even more guilty if I got her pregnant...
Babies eventually grow up and stop throwing tantrums every five minutes.
Three months without a school shooting.
A Suicide Squad
You know she’ll swallow.
...I hope.
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
All the good ones are taken, so when no one is looking you have to slip it in the disabled one.
The finish line of the Boston marathon
I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but it must be those orange jumpsuits.
So you can’t see the bruises
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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