Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
chowesmith 7 year.agoA plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Vegas, gotten lost, and nearly run out of fuel, so he put his plane down at the first runway he saw. After extensive background checks, it is proven that the pilot isn't a spy and he is set to be released the following morning. Before he is allowed to leave, he is given the "You didn't see anything" talk, and is told that under absolutely no circumstances is he allowed to tell anyone where he was, or what he saw. The Air Force fuels up the man's plane, gives him a proper heading to get back to Las Vegas, and sends him on his way. Later that day, the man's plane is again spotted getting ready to land at Area 51. This time there are two people in the plane. When the plane touches down, it is immediately surrounded by guards again. As soon as it comes to a stop, the man hops out and yells: "Do whatever you want to me, but SOMEBODY has to tell my wife where I was last night."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
They both disappear fast
Liquid is a legitimate state
Because they make the toys.
He's an underground artist now
Two black guys are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75 Black guy one: "Do you think it will work? Black guy two: "Only one way to find out." BG1: "I only have $50" BG2: "Well, I have $100, I'll go do it then give you my change BG1: "Let's do it then" BG2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase. BG1: "Holy shit it actually worked! Let me get that $25" BG2: "Fuck you, nigger. Get a job." ___________ xpost:r/sickipedia
A ransom note...
The Indian cashier can provide actual change.
Zero School shootings so far this year!
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I was bloody and sore at the end. But at least my dad came.
I'd have $2 and a pile of counterfeits.
The reasons the parents are crying.
With a small loan of $1 million from his father
Carlos take the stereo and I'll take lookout
The hardest part is always having to act surprised.
God created Hitler.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge...
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
It can be done with a credit card fairly easily, but I prefer to use a knife
And I thought, "That seems like a reasonable compromise."
The ungrateful bitch spat it out...
He lost wifi connection
With a virus.
My dad didn’t beat cancer
I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said "What's the best way?" I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"
I'll be home in 20 minutes!
Told my mom that my girlfriend is retarded...
It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that. _______ xpost: r/sickipedia
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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