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avatar Romantic_Anal_Rape 8 year.ago

Out on a blind date.

I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said "What's the best way?" I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Theoretical physicists dont desrve to vote

Only real people should vote. They're theoretical.

2. What do you call an Irishman who bounces off the walls?

Rick O'Shea

3. World's oldest WW2 code breaker.

The World's oldest World War 2 code breaker died last week at the age of 5. Correction: 101

4. Two goldfish are in a tank

The first turns to the second and says, "I'll gun, you drive

5. The waiter asked if I’d like to see a wine list.

I replied, "You bet Shiraz I would!"

6. Did you hear about the nun who was wearing her clothes inside out?

She said it was a bad habit.

7. Prosecutors are debating what penalty to seek for Luigi Mangione

They have narrowed it down to death, life imprisonment, or mandatory use of United Health insurance plans.

8. Two pilots were flying from Arizona to Nevada on a foggy night. They unfortunately crashed the plane on the border of the two states.

The black box was found and the investigators listened to the pilots' conversation, and they instantly knew the cause of the crash was poor visibility. The last words of the pilots was "DAM DUDE!"

9. How do you call the sun shining on the beach?

Son of a bitch.

10. What's the difference between a 4 year-old boy and 1 kg of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let 1 kg of cocaine fall out of a window!

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