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avatar king_krimson 10 year.agoSo a man is walking through the woods...

There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. How do you stop a black guy from drowning?

Take your knee off the back of his neck

2. What do Asians call their pet?.

Snacky

3. Playing Kobe on NBA 2k

Hopefully it doesn’t crash on me

4. I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet.

I thought it would be a piece of cake!

5. Someone made a post offending handicapped people, but I didn’t reply.

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6. What's the difference between men and horses?

Horses give you a better ride.

7. What do you call 2 black people in a blanket?

Twix

8. I played Watch Dogs 2

One day I didn’t have a lot to do so I wanted to play Watch Dogs 2. (first you have to understand that the main character is black) After a while playing, I was getting busted by the police and then I got killed after a while of running Then I said in my mind: Holy shit, just like in our actual times.

9. Gay people are actually good,

Not only do they leave more girls for us, they take another dude with them, and the girls give us lesbian porn.

10. What do you call two black guys dead on the street?

Skidmarks

11. How do you blindfold a Chinese person?

Put floss over their eyes.

12. What's one question you can never ask someone named happy?

"are you sad?"

13. As a kid, I always wanted to work with animals.

But, by the time i was old enough, they closed the chemical testing lab in my city.

14. What do you call George Floyd's TV show?

The Fresh Prince of No Air

15. I am the kind of man that is easily swayed.

I have muscular degeneration in my legs.

16. I played mini golf with a midget.

The best part was watching his eyes close before his head hit the ball.

17. We are never gonna hear Whole lotta red by Playboi Carti

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18. What disease does a black father get after his first child is born?

GONErrhea

19. How did George Floyd lost his horse race?

:)

20. Free my boy George Floyd

Oh wait. There was a Black person in the media, I assumed he’d been arrested.

21. What did we understand after George Floyds Death

Everyone KNEEds air

22. I'm just having a look at the lay of the land.

She hates when I call her that.

23. What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

... Their wheelchairs

24. Paying homage to...

George Floyd by kneeling is somewhat like paying homage to Kobe Bryant by doing the helicopter.

25. Why do they call it p.m.s.....

Because mad cow was already taken!!!

26. The number of racist jokes on this sub is appalling.

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27. How do you fit 100 Jews into a car

2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ashtray

28. What do you do when you see a nigger with half a head

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29. Why do Jews have such big noses

... air is free

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