There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Take your knee off the back of his neck
Snacky
Hopefully it doesn’t crash on me
I thought it would be a piece of cake!
The comments were disabled.
Horses give you a better ride.
Twix
One day I didn’t have a lot to do so I wanted to play Watch Dogs 2. (first you have to understand that the main character is black) After a while playing, I was getting busted by the police and then I got killed after a while of running Then I said in my mind: Holy shit, just like in our actual times.
Not only do they leave more girls for us, they take another dude with them, and the girls give us lesbian porn.
Skidmarks
Put floss over their eyes.
"are you sad?"
But, by the time i was old enough, they closed the chemical testing lab in my city.
The Fresh Prince of No Air
I have muscular degeneration in my legs.
The best part was watching his eyes close before his head hit the ball.
Especially now that he had a kid and really has to dissapear.
GONErrhea
:)
Oh wait. There was a Black person in the media, I assumed he’d been arrested.
Everyone KNEEds air
She hates when I call her that.
... Their wheelchairs
George Floyd by kneeling is somewhat like paying homage to Kobe Bryant by doing the helicopter.
Because mad cow was already taken!!!
There aren't nearly enough of them.
2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ashtray
Stop laughing and reload
... air is free
Take your foot off the back of his head
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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