Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
king_krimson 10 year.agoSo a man is walking through the woods...There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
He was caught drinking on the job!
Because they have to.
Nobody should ever be subjected to country music.
Afterwards the doctor comes in and tells them, "I have good news and bad news." Concerned, they ask for the bad news first. He tells them that the baby is a ginger. The parents say, "Well I guess we can learn to live with a ginger baby. It might not be so bad. What's the good news?" "It's dead!"
He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
Then itll never come for me
So blind people could hate them too
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog...
Break her fingers, so she can't tell anyone
His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.
Because he can't do stand up
The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
Cause they have to.
Are You Tighter Than a Fifth Grader?
Cervical cancer
Because there are targets on every corner.
One, if it is a man.
Look for the cardboard sign.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.
Most of the german genocides can be swept under the carpet
She started her period. Edit: This joke courtesy of the homeless guy outside the 7-11. I tipped him a beer.
The whites are usually pretty useless
The Nazi
When you dump a load in the washer, It will not follow you around for two months.
It got a million stars.
Go ahead, call the police, we'll see who comes first.
The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen.
One is on the cover of Playboy and one is on the cover of National Geographic.
I feel bad for muslims because they are all portrayed as being angry people I just think they just have a short fuse
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