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avatar Grap3ju1c3 11 year.agoHow can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a group of black women?

A farmer's toolshed. (If you didn’t get it it’s because they’re hoes)

2. It’s a shame automatic rifles are banned

Now I have to pull the trigger every time I see a kid.

3. What do Californian feminists and Middle-eastern feminists have in common?

They both get stoned.

4. What’s the difference between pizza and Jews?

Pizza didn’t do 9/11

5. What does a baby look like when you hit it with a lawn mower?

I dont know-i close my eyes when I cum

6. How do you kill a Briton?

Poison his tea and hide the antidote in a tube of toothpaste.

7. Why are priests called Father?

Because it's too suspicious to call them Daddy.

8. Whats the difference between Santa clause and a jew?

Santa goes DOWN the chimney

9. Grammar.

The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

10. What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead negro in the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it

11. Disappointment

running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first

12. Talk dirty to me

I'm gonna get you wetter than a spastics chin

13. Why are most North Koreans left handed?

Because they have no rights.

14. I was having rough sex with my German girlfriend

For some reason she kept screaming her age instead of the correct safeword

15. What’s the difference between you and me?

I am not a meth head.

16. I thought of making a groping joke

In the end I didn’t. It’s a touchy subject

17. A Chinese man was eating some eggroll, but was short the equivalent of one cent.

He said, “I'll give you my girl! Hopefully that will be enough to cover it!” The restaurant got him arrested anyway since girls are worthless in China.

18. What kind of punch can kill 6 adults and 20 children?

A Sandy Hook.

19. What’s in a seven-course meal in Ireland?

A six-pack of beer and a potato.

20. An obese women told me a joke.

I didn't laugh but the floor was cracking up

21. What do you call a black astronaut?

Coon on the moon

22. What do you call kids outside of a school zone?

Speed bumps

23. All feminists are lesbians but..

All lesbians are feminists

24. What kind of martial arts do people with Down syndrome and an amputated leg practice?

Partial arts

25. Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't. He fell off your bike.

26. What type of music are homeless people unable to hear?

House music.

27. I like my women how i like my deer

Usually found dead on the side of the road

28. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its cock.

29. If you want to save money this Christmas,

now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.

30. I'm absolutely exhausted from my French self-defence class last night.

I've never run so far in all my life.

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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