Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Our computer's down," said St. Peter. "You'll have to go back for a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest. The second priest thought for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week count?" "No," said St. Peter. "Well," the priest said, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it," said St. Peter and the second priest also disappeared. A week later, the computer was fixed and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" he asked. "The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove more difficult." "Why?" asked the Lord. "Because he's on a snow tire somewhere in northern Ontario," smiled St. Peter.
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It replied 'Wow, that just came outta right field.'
It cracked up.
" I hope it's Jeff, said the second man, "He's cute".
I’m now banned from rock climbing
I saw a blonde with nipple piercings and asked her why she got them, she said, she was told that when you get older your boobs deflate, so she's trying to cap her air bags.
"Finish your food, have you considered there's kids starving in Asia?". At my dinner table my parents would ask me "have you considered euthanasia?" I tell ya, no respect.
Open the cockpit door! Or the bitch loses a hangnail!
But when you give it to a dog it becomes K9P
The bartender says "sorry, we don't cater for functions".
I couldn't eat an entire harbour but I could drink a nice port.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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