“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her”. The man stopped talking but kept weeping. “Well don’t cry, it’s a sin but it is not that bad. You should say 5 Hail Marys and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest. “But it doesn't end there” the man kept sobbing. “a few days later my elderly neighbor asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalized and she couldn't send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with the old lady” the man cried. “Oh dear well that makes it harder indeed, but still - you should say 15 Hail Marys and you will be forgiven” Said the priest. “Oh I’m afraid the worst part is still ahead” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him as well” the man cried. “Oh dear, it is indeed worse than I thought” said the priest. “So what should I do father?” the man asked. “Well” answered the priest, “you should get the fuck out of here before it starts raining!”.
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But he never got around to it.
A wife, before traveling, asked her husband to take care of the cat. After a week, she called him to say hello and asked about the cat. He said to her: “Honestly, the cat died.” She started screaming and crying and said, “Shame on you… why did you tell me the news all at once? You know I can't handle it. You should’ve told me she was playing on the roof today, then tomorrow tell me she fell off the roof, then the next day say she died... Anyway… how’s my dad?" He said: “Your dad is playing on the roof.”
Bipolar.
He only had one pupil.
Tbh, I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
Meat Patty
They're used to living in a certain manor
You don’t have to suffer alone; The worst part? Having to always be the host.
He said, "it sounds like you have a-wristed development."
The reception was fantastic
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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