A drunk gets home at four in the morning, looks at the clock, and says: “Shiiit… my wife’s gonna kill me.” Before heading to the bedroom, he sets the clock back to midnight. Drunk, but clever. He walks into the bedroom, and his partner, who’s been waiting for him, says: “And you?” “And me what?” “You’re drunk.” “Yeah, so?” “And what time do you think it is, huh?” “Early! It’s midnight, look.” He shows her the clock. She checks the time and says: “Oh... you’re right.” She goes back to bed. And he, feeling proud and cozy, thinks to himself: “Pulled it off. I’m safe.” A little while later he wakes up and says: “Babe...” “What do you want?” “Can you bring me a glass of water?” “Okay…” she says, quietly resigned. She gets up and heads to the kitchen. But when she sees the clock there, she realizes it’s actually four in the morning. She storms back into the bedroom and says: “Hey!” “What?” “It’s four in the freakin’ morning!” And the drunk goes: “What?! You’ve got no shame? Four damn hours just to get a glass of water?! Shit!”
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Look Ma! It's shooting Starlettes!
he knew that the risk of being in a plane where someone had a bomb was very very small, but the chance of two persons independent of each other carrying bombs, that would be infinite low.
It's tear-able.
The interviewer said, "I don't think honesty is a weakness." I replied, "I don't give a fuck what you think!"
To see if the relationship would work out.
What do you call a gnome catcher with a Math degree? Degnomeinator 😋
It's not hard. Edit: Can't believe the number of people who don't understand this
The living room.
A satisfactory.
I think I'm being stalked
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