Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Apricus83 4 day.agoDonald Trump wanted to experience the authentic Middle-East and went as a regular tourist to a local eatery. He noticed that the waiter bringing him biryani had his thumb dipped in the food. Too hungry to complain, he chose to ignore it. Later he saw the waiter bring him curry again with his thumb dipped in the bowl. And same thing happened when he ordered some lentil soup. But he noticed the waiter finally had his fingers off the food when dessert was brought. Now that he was full, he asked, “Hey, I see you can actually hold the plates and bowls without dipping your thumb in the food. Why did you have your thumb in all my previous orders?” “Well sir, I have arthritis in this thumb and the doctor has advised me to keep it warm all the time, so I dip it in hot food every chance I get.” Furious that it was a deliberate act and somewhat disgusted, Trump yelled, “Why don’t you shove your finger up your arse; it’s warm in there too!” “Well sir, that’s what I do when I am in the kitchen.”
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Wasabi?!?
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands. Much less painful.
Bartender says there's a hundred guys in the back room that would like to talk to you.
Why’d the Greek bust melt? It was left in the sun too long. But it’s marble! No… it was Plato…
So they decided to hold a contest to find the funniest limerick in all the land. And because limericks are sometimes on the dirty side, bawdy submissions were permitted and even encouraged. A panel of judges from all walks of life was assembled to review the limericks and select the funniest. In the end, they chose a submission from a 68 year old grandmother and invited her to read her limerick live in a BBC broadcast. But there was a problem: The limerick was so dirty that the judges felt that it couldn't be read to the public without censoring the worst of the language. With that stipulation, the woman went to the BBC studios and prepared to read her limerick, with the dirtiest words replaced with "da". She cleared her throat and began: Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da Da da da da da Da da da da da fucking c\*nt.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Guess she’s homeless.
“There are only two questions”, said the professor, not wanting to fail the star player “What did Old McDonald have?” After some thinking, player says “Farm” “That’s great” says the professor somewhat relieved. “Now can you spell farm?” The player hummed and hawed and scratched his head and finally says “EIEIO”
But two of them didn't make the cut, man.
He said “more often than knot.”
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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