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avatar Skatingraccoon 4 day.ago

How did the zebra cross through the long span of elephants?

By using the elegate

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I had a stock of perfumes which I planned to sell for $100 per bottle, but since people weren't buying it I had to sell them for half the price.

I made only 50 per scent.

2. What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You play a fiddle with your shoes off.

3. How do you change a petunia into double petunia?

A petunia is like a begonia. A begonia is a kind of sausage. A sausage and battery is a crime. Monkeys crime trees. Trees a crowd. The rooster crowd and made a noise. The noise is between the eyes. The opposite of eye is nay. Horses neigh. Horses have colts. If you go to bed with a colt, you'll wake up with double petunia.

4. I opened a bank account specifically for money I spend at Ikea

It's my Hej fund

5. My girlfriend asked me how I view lesbian relationships

I said: usually in HD

6. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

7. Why do men name their dicks?

Because they don’t want a stranger making 90% of their decisions.

8. Whose punch was the deadliest? Some say Ali, some say Frasier, some say Foreman.

Me? I'm going with Jim Jones.

9. What's the difference between a search for truth and my ex wife?

A search for truth is a fact hunt...

10. A man comes home extremely drunk with a sheep under his arm.

After struggling to get the door open, and stumbling into the house, he sees his wife waiting for him in the living room. She launches into a tirade, berating the man. Telling him how he's a worthless drunk, a shitty husband, how her dad was right about him, ect. She finishes her speech by pointing to the sheep and saying "And what the fuck is that?" The man is standing there swaying slightly and clearly trying to hold it together. After looking back and forth between his wife and the sheep, he slurs "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache" The wife yells back "That's not a pig you drunken moron!" The man looks at the wife and says "I wasn't talking to you."

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